The season premiere, live and in HD.

Stephane Dion tries to have a party with his fellow Liberals, but Stephen Harper shows up instead, and they do a dance and sing about having a party shuffle. Commercial for Biological Clock-Block, a helpful product for women who are obsessed with babies. Global Maritimes does their six o'clock newscast, but funding cuts make it difficult. A couple goes cross-border shopping, but they have problems when they try to get through Customs without paying any taxes. A kid stays out late to protest injustices in Myanmar, but his parents aren't sympathetic. A guy meets a panhandler who takes Visa and also takes his job. The "Life and Mimes" of Marcel Marceau. Tony Clement talks about toughening drug laws.

Don Ferguson talks about Justin Trudeau's new baby and the new Trump Tower. Stephen Harper presents a controversial new government document called "Strong Leadership: Destroying Dion." The show "E Talk" interviews Britney Spears and Kevin Federline. Former Prime Minister Jean Chretien does an interview about his new book. Al Gore introduces some new "inconvenient truths" that he has learned. A news editor talks about Stephen Harper's Throne Speech and the reactions from the Opposition. Some guys hang out at the lake and skip stones, then are embarrassed when a girl beats them at it. A junk food dealer sells contraband foods at school and gets busted. Topical Toons presents Belinda Stronach's swan song. Alan Park talks about B.C. Ferries, racial profiling in the Maher Arar case, Aung San Suu Kyi becoming an honourary Canadian citizen, seal hunt protesters, Oral Roberts' son in an ethical scandal, Vladimir Putin visiting Iran, and other stories.

Jessica Holmes talks about Maher Arar and concerns over air pollution at the 2008 Olympics. The high Canadian dollar causes problems for an American woman shopping at a Canadian bookstore. Governor Schwarzenegger helps with California wildfire relief. Stephane Dion's totally unstaged photo in the Toronto Star. A fun new Cold War-style board game called Arctic Sovereignty. Former astronaut Marc Garneau gets ready to run as a Liberal candidate. Topical Toons presents "Halloween On Parliament Hill." WestJet employees put on a show for their passengers. A commercial for Canadian banks; they don't do anything for free, and they're not very polite either. People chat about various news stories while waiting in an endless grocery store line. A couple doesn't want their son to dress up as Dumbledore for Halloween. Roger Abbott talks about rising taxes in Toronto, Paris Hilton wanting to be cryogenically frozen, and how many cross-border-shopping days are left until Christmas.

Jessica Holmes talks about the high dollar, the death of an inventor, and the approval ratings of political party leaders. Stephen Harper meets with the Dalai Lama. Queen Elizabeth talks about the blackmail tape allegedly involving the royal family. The USA has the "Colbert Report," now Canada has the "Wilbert Report." An American Chrysler saleswoman isn't allowed to sell cars to Canadians, so her Canadian customer tries to conceal his national identity. Jim Flaherty discusses his mini-budget. The Hamilton Tigercats coach gives a press conference and tries not to get fired. A guy looks for his suitcase at an airport and tries not to get Tasered. A woman wearing a veil complains about the government not wanting her to vote while wearing a veil. Two guys sit on the roof and look at the stars, then get a very close look at a comet. Don Ferguson and Jessica Holmes talk about Hurricane Noel, a dead hippo, and other stories.

Craig Lauzon talks about the handsome audience, the high Canadian dollar, and Stephane Dion. Hillary and Bill Clinton discuss Hillary's presidential campaign. The creators of Entourage present their new show, Diontourage. Frank D'Angelo gets a new show called D'Angelo's Den, where entrepreneurs try to get money from him. The Department of Homeland Security does a video about the United States that borrows Canadian features such as Niagara Falls and Canadian Tire. Alan Park talks about a Canadian figure skater, weather problems in Mexico, a poll about Canada's involvement in Afghanistan, and other stories. Dog the Bounty Hunter argues with a CTV executive. A guy argues with a tree that has PMS - Post Maple Syndrome. An inspector visits the Bombardier Aerospace plant looking for unsafe aircraft. A soldier brings his son to Afghanistan on Take Your Kids To Work Day. Roger Abbott and Luba Goy talk about Saskatchewan's provincial election, Dick Cheney getting Peru confused with Venezuela, the turmoil in Pakistan, and other stories.

Jessica Holmes thanks the viewers for their compliments on the show's new live format, then the following popular sketches from this season are replayed: Al Gore's new inconvenient truths. A Canadian pretends to be American so he can buy a car in the US. Two guys hang out at the lake and skip stones, then a girl comes along who's better at it. Perky WestJet flight attendants. A teenager's parents lecture him after he stays out late at a Free Burma protest. A guy loses his spare change and his job to a panhandler. A newscaster critiques Stephen Harper's Throne Speech. E Talk interviews Britney Spears and Kevin Federline. Some guys look at the stars and get an extremely close look at a comet.

Roger Abbott welcomes everyone and talks about the Grey Cup. Celine Dion explains why she won't be performing in Halifax next summer, complete with a song and floating bubbles. Holly Horton reports on the Grey Cup and gets up close and personal with some CFL players. Ottawa Report discusses Brian Mulroney and Karlheinz Schreiber, only the legal department doesn't want them to name names. Hockey Night In Canada discusses the controversy over a Czech hockey player posting naked pictures on the Internet. A worker decides not to join in the office lottery pool, much to his later regret. Alan Park talks about Canadians getting paid for Olympic medals, cloning, a pipeline explosion in Saudi Arabia, a proposed ban on Tasers, c. difficile treatment, the death of Mr. Whipple, and a scientific experiment involving hair colour. A woman shops for a T-shirt and is overwhelmed by all the choices. The Alberta Nanny enforces the smoking ban and lectures people for having bad manners. A news editor discusses the Hollywood writers' strike and how we can still rely on Canadian television to entertain us. Penelope Corrin wraps up the week's news in "This Just In."

Tonight's episode is brought to you by Karlheinz ketchup; it's good for sweetening deals. Stephane Dion prepares for a romantic evening with the Liberal caucus. President Pervez Musharraf discusses the state of emergency in Pakistan. A man regrets having his football-crazed brother visit during Grey Cup Week. A woman raves about her amazing anti-aging cream, then her husband drinks it and turns into a five-year-old. Karlheinz Schreiber testifies in song at a hearing. A news report about legal problems resulting from teddy bear names, the Vancouver Olympic mascots, hospital death rates, Middle East peace negotiations, Scotland's new airport slogan, and Australia's new Environment Minister. A woman deals with her hyperactive daughter at a Santa Claus parade. The Conservative Party continues to attack Stephane Dion in ads. American Customs agents guard the border against threats like fire engines and ambulances. Alan Park and Luba Goy discuss the hostage situation at Hillary Clinton's campaign office and bottled water for pets.

Coming soon.