DC44--

Technical Proficiency-- good job! The camera work and sound are as good as any standard film out there, and even better compared to some (no shaky camera, no grainy picture).

Writing/Comedic Proficiency-- also good. I was a little put-off at first, since the awkwardness between Adam and Haley(?) felt more like a sad drama than a comedy, but then I caught on to what you were going for during the bathroom scene. Heh, nobody urinates that long, but I'm guessing that was supposed to be part of the comedy. The black guy walking out of the stall sealed the deal-- again, good work.

On the TMDB scale, I'm giving your little film a 3.5 out of 5. If you are able to sustain this kind of work in a feature-length format, then I definitely think you've got a winner here, DC44.

Thank you for sharing, DC44!

Thanks so much for your reply. I really appreciate the time you took to watch and also write out some feedback. Extremely invaluable to myself and I can't thank you enough. People like you help first time film makers get good at their craft so much appreciated.

Do you mind if I ask what you might cut out if you had a chance. Im getting a lot of feedback that the bathroom scene is too long but Im unsure what parts are not funny and could be cut, hard to judge from a neutral place when Ive seen it so many times.

Thanks again I really appreciate your feedback

Best, DC

DC44--

I would just say to make the bathroom scene a little shorter; it's difficult to say exactly what, since that scene needs to be somewhat long in order to achieve the comedic intent. Most of the dialogue seems necessary; so I suppose I would say to delete some of the pauses between Adam and the Anaconda guy.

Just my two pennies . . . hope it helps.

helps a bunch. thankyou so much again for taking the time. good karma coming your way sir.