Henry receives a citation for the camp achieving the best efficiency rating, and then General Hammond reassigns him to Tokyo. Frank then changes the camp to be more military, and he confiscates Hawkeye's and Trapper's still. They use forged passes to go to Tokyo to convince Henry to come back and end up pretending Radar is sick.

Hawkeye creates a fake doctor, Captain Jonathan S. Tuttle, to give supplies to the local orphans. Henry wants Tuttle to be officer of the day, so Hawkeye creates a fake personnel file, and all his back pay is given to the orphanage. When General Clayton wants to reward his generosity, Hawkeye is forced to invent a story about Tuttle jumping from a chopper without his parachute! Of course, Trapper's new friend, Captain Murdoch, obtained the fake dog tags and parachute...!

Frank throws his back out whilst spending the evening with Margaret, and ends up in traction. He promptly applies for the Purple Heart, having been 'technically' wounded at a frontline unit. Tommy Gillis, an old friend of Hawkeye's, is writing a book about the war, and pays him a visit. Later, Tommy is brought into the camp, seriously wounded, and Hawkeye can't save him. A 15-year-old kid is in the hospital to have his appendix out. He joined up to be a hero back home, but Hawkeye has him sent home, giving him Frank's purple heart.

The camp suffers from the severe cold, except for Hawkeye who has received some long john's from his father. They get passed around from person to person, as a gift, a gambling stake, a trade, a bribe, stolen, given up to Father Mulcahy, who gives them to Henry, who returns them to Hawkeye as thanks for taking out his appendix.

Everyone wants to mother a wounded and apparently orphaned boy.

Hawkeye cuts through red tape to help a GI marry his child's Korean mother, and cuts romantic ties with a bigoted nurse.