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Gabrielle
posted by wonder2wonderSTAFFMOD on August 22, 2019 at 4:17 PM
Gabrielle: "This doesn't change how I feel about you."
Phil: "How could it not, Gab? You say you're into women now, and I'm not a woman."
Gabrielle: "I don't want you to be a woman. I love you. I love being with you. I love who you are."
Phil: "What is it? Are you bored?"
Gabrielle: "I'm not bored. You are my best friend."
Phil: "And your husband, Gabrielle. I'm your husband."
Gabrielle: "Yes, you're my husband. But when she kissed me, it was electric, and it was just too strong. I can't ignore that."
Phil: "People are attracted to other people all the time. We're grown-ups. We have to make choices."
Gabrielle: "This is not about choices. It is a side of myself I have not dealt with and I want to."
Phil: "I don't know how I feel about this. But I don't want to have an open marriage."
Gabrielle: "It's not about an open marriage. This is something I need to explore."
Phil: "Then explore. But I'm not gonna sit around pining away while you do it."
This conversation is so typical of couples at the beginning of a possible break-up. It's one that's been held countless times under different circumstances. Just substitute 'sexual preference' with for example age (usually), class, race or ethnicity.
Often it'd be a middle-aged man, who'd tell his wife that he met an 18-year old teenage girl, and when she kissed him, it was electric, etc.
Now that 'exploring your sexuality' - sexual fluidity - is 'trendy', it seems to be accepted that anyone can use that as an excuse to stay married and cheat at the same time, and also avoid calling it 'an open marriage'.
Gabrielle should get a divorce if she wants to explore her sexuality. She can't go around 'cheating' on her husband with other women.
She's in denial. It is about choices and she does want an open marriage for now until she's found that special woman she wants to marry and live happily ever after. Then she'll divorce him. Meanwhile she just wants to have her cake and eat it too.
Reply by genplant29
on August 22, 2019 at 7:25 PM
I thought that was a very "knowing" part of Episode 3, presented smartly. Indeed, it's obvious where Gabrielle is coming from, having just entered unexpected new sexual-awakening territory that apparently is something that really, really registers within her - to a literally life-changing extent.
On the other hand, I absolutely agree with you (not to mention I 100% agree with everything you stated), wonder, that in a marriage having the option to go off and explore your sexuality with anyone else simply isn't how marriage is supposed to, or should, work, therefore expecting your spouse (who is supposed to be able to trust you implicitly) to just agree to, and be okay with, you hooking up with others so you (fictional t.v. character) can "explore", and said spouse not mind and not have their trust and soul crushed and eroded, is not only an insult to the spouse but also to what's supposed to be the sacred "forsaking all others" - for better or for worse - marriage vow that was mutually taken. While we're at it, what spouse is going to feel comfortable with potentially some hook-up's STD picked up by the mate potentially entering the picture?!
Gabby has now already signaled to her husband - whether she realizes it or not - that her "needs" come before both him and their marriage vows; regrettably, she made pretty evident, upfront, that she is going to explore - therefore she left it to Phil to really only have the options to say either "okay" or "I want a divorce".
This could be marriage-killing for the spouse who's not the person off eating the candy.
I suppose it's "admirable" that at least Gabby had that conversation with Phil, rather than her just clandestinely cheating on him on the side.
Reply by Knixon
on September 15, 2019 at 12:30 AM
But of course, discussing it openly - on-camera - was far more dramatic.