Michael learns there's more to Jack than rippling muscles, as they match wits in a crossword-puzzle competition; Suzanne will do anything---including attend funerals---to drum up real-estate clients. Meanwhile, Carrie copes with annoying customers who snap at her.

A would-be thespian from Texas comes to town and tries to land a part in Neil Simon's latest play, losing out at her first audition, she finds friendship with the ecclectic group of regulars at a diner called Union Square.

Gaby asks Michael to write her an original monologue for a big audition, which leads to doubts about their respective talents; Jack gets involved with his parole officer's daughter; Suzanne interviews prospective divorce lawyers; and Albie is fascinated by the diner's new revolving pie rack.

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Gaby is cast in a student film, but the scene requires her to kiss Jack.

Halloween at the diner finds Michael trying to prove he can be shallow when it comes to his sex life after the others find out he has never had a one-night stand, and Gaby wanting to be open-minded about a very tall guy who fancies women's clothes. Menwhile, Suzanne's ex-husband is poaching clients.

Rhea Perlman guest stars as a bookie's widow looking to collect a debt from Jack; Gaby is fired from her temp job after being sexually harassed and Michael wants her to sue; Suzanne tries to find someone to take a cruise with her.

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Jack takes money from the tip jar and bets it on a horse race; Suzanne gives Santa Claus a pep talk before he appears in the Thanksgiving Day parade; Michael and Gaby concoct stories about their careers to tell their families.

Gaby is offered a kitchen job, but she claims to have a counteroffer in a production of ""South Pacific"" with Florence Henderson (who appears as herself). Meanwhile Suzanne is pleasantly surprised when the child from a third-world country that she's been supporting turns out to be rather mature.

The gang rally to lift Gaby's limping Christmas spirit when a series of misfortunes leaves her singing the blues; Albie rescues a red-nosed reindeer from a Christmas tree lot.

The reappearance of her hunky former boyfriend from Texas unsettles Gaby, especially when he introduces her to his fiancee, who finds cause for jealousy. And the diner plays host to a bratty 10-year-old movie star.

Carrie signs with a record label after performing in a lesbian club. Gaby tries to reunite an elderly man and his long-lost love, a woman he fell in love with at the diner 50 years ago when it was a dance hall.

Jack goes to great lengths to make it up to a woman whose car he once stole; at Albie's prompting, Carrie tries to be nicer to her customers, including Lea Thompson of ""Caroline in the City"" who appears as herself.